Its all your fault...

Good morning. Hi and assalamualaikum. Yes hello its me again. I don't think like there's someone could update anything for me here. Because this is totally my personal blog. You oll ni takkan lah nak tolong I update kan. 
Well today I don't think like I have a specific idea on what am I going to share. It just a random update because I think like I want to talk but I don't have someone to talk to. At this early in the morning. Everyone is going to class while I am alone in this room talking to dust. Because I don't have anyone to talk to.
Its hurt when you know peoples near you no longer care about you. No longer want to think anything about you. Nah. You're not anyone to them, so what for they keep thinking of you? I mean, I used to put them at the third place after Allah and my family, but then I don't know where did they put me actually. Ah. Maybe at the bottom at their toes. Where they can kick me anytime, and pull me aside when they really need me. Oh god. Its totally hurt when you've been treat as a rubbish when you put everyone as your everything. 
No no. CORRECTION, they actually care but they didn't show it anymore because they knew that I'm too stubborn and I will never care about what they say. If I was at their place pun I would feel the same. Well human have some feelings when they are so tired to hear the same things over and over, tired to tell the same things over and over. Ahah, I talk about human feelings like I'm an alien. Ah who cares? But sometimes I used to think like I'm an alien because I am so weird sometimes. err not sometimes actually, but most of the times. 
So I've spotted my bad attitude. My attitude that I really need to change. Bukan sorang je cakap but a few people keep saying the same thing. 
"Kau degil lah Jo" "Aku dah cakap tapi kau tak dengar" "Kau ni kalau orang cakap sikiit melenting" "Dulu kau cakap kau nak berubah tapi kau sama je"
Omg. Amirah Auni, Jo, please wake up from sleep. This is not you. Totally not you. It is so touched when my old bestfriend text me and told me that i've changed a lot. I'm different. This is not the old me. nah. I don't really know where the real Amirah Auni is. Is she missing or she has died? I don't know. I wish she's only missing searching for something then she'll come to me again. I miss you Jo. HAHA. I'm feeling psycho and cute talking to myself. I think one day i'll be in psychiatric ward. Am i spelling it right? Eh lantak. 
So I'm not promising anything. I used to said, "aku nak berubah" "aku dah berubah" and still, I back to normal. So this time, I take everything positively memandangkan mekpoh has text me and said he miss the old me. So i really need to be the old me. The new one is suck. But I believe everything that already happen is all because of my fault. My one fault, my own mistakes. I'm not going to  blame anyone. Just please, I really hope everyone will stay because one day I will go. And I really hope all of you is there when I'm leaving. 
Last, thanks to everyone that truly care. Thanks to the one that come and hug me when I really need a hug. Ah thanks lah semua. hm tapi sekarang nak meroyan ni. Semalam topup lima hinggit buat internet tibatiba lupa off packet data digi telan kredit aku. bye dah takmu kawan digi hmm bye hmm internet seringgit sampai pukul 12 malam. Pukul 12 lupa nak tutup, empat ringgit kena telan walaupun masatu phone tgh guna wifi rumah hm. Stupid jo as usual. Bye. 
Takmu kawan digi. Hm