One day, there's a princess. She wanted to go out from the castle. She ask for accompany from a prince. Her favorite prince that used to follow her wherever she go, fulfill all her dreams, the only prince that she could rely on.
But on that day, the prince gave so many excuses. But the princess still try to give the best for him. To make sure the prince will follow her. She do everything but then the prince still stick with the excuses. The prince said,
"I'm sorry my dear. I can't go out with you. I'm afraid that all my friend will see us together and think bad about us. I need to take care of their feelings. I'm sorry"
So the princess was gave up.
She finally decided to go out alone. But deep inside her heart she do hope that the prince will appear in front of her. Before she go out, with her broken heart she said to the prince,
"Dear prince, if you really want to be friend with me, come meet me at the garden. I will wait for you until 8pm. If you are not coming, I swear I no longer know who you are. I will bare in my mind that you don't appreciate my effort to proceed with this relationship"
She went to the garden. She wait for the prince to come. She look at her watch. It show 8.05 pm. She knows she's not supposed to wait anymore. It already late for the prince to come. But she still believe that the prince love him. She know that the prince will not end their relationship. She believe that the prince will not make her disappointed. So she just wait. Keep believing that the prince would come.
She look at her watch. It's 9pm. She's finally give up. The prince no longer want her. He no longer care about her dream. Worst part, the prince don't really mind about their friendship. He don't put any effort to save it at all.
She's so made. She decided to change. She go out from the castle. She left everything behind her. She run away from everyone. In the same time, she run away from the prince. As promises, she know that she have to forget him. She start a new life at another country.
After a few years, she no longer remember him. But what is still in her mind,
"A few years ago there's a guy that hurt me the most. He put me behind everyone else. He make me fall for him. And then without he realize, he slowly replace me with someone else. I was there to him most of the time, but at the end of the day, he act like i'm nothing to him. Maybe he's so happy right now. Enjoying his life with someone that he choose. But until right now, he might not know that, there's only one heart love him more than anyone else could"
THE END.
"Hari ini aku sedar,
Bahawa janji itu juga adalah sebahagian dari kata-kata,
Dapat dirubah, boleh juga untuk dilupakan,
Memberi janji, mungkin mudah untuk melupakan,
Tapi menerima janji, sampai mati diingati,
Ada waktunya janji juga menjerut hati sendiri,
Semata-mata untuk kegembiraan orang yang kita cintai"
Kadang-kadang bila tengah sayang macam macam boleh janji. Nak menyayangi setulus jiwa dan raga. Akan setia sehingga ke hujung nyawa, akan mencintai sehingga ke syurga. Cuba sayang tu tibatiba tuhan tarik balik. Segala janji macam terus hilang. Bukan nak menyalah kan tukang janji. Bukan juga nak salah kan setiap yang terjadi. Tiada salah sesiapa. Cuma kadang kadang ragam manusia sendiri. Suka sangat berjanji untuk meyakinkan. Tapi bila dah rasa tak mampu nak ditunaikan, janji tu macam hilang dihanyutkan bersama kenangan. Senang. Tapi pada yang menerima segala janji, sampai sekarang agaknya terngiang-ngiang.
Pedih. Serabut. Tak tenang.
Salah sendiri sebab jauh dari tuhan. Salah sendiri bila lupa daratan. Salah sendiri bila tak pernah topup iman yang senipis kulit bawang. Dua tahun. Tak pernah berubah. Keadaan yang sama. Tapi kat mana? Terapung apung fikir kenapa tak tenang. Sedangkan dah tahu jawapan. Ya Allah. Jauhnya rasa dengan tuhan. Salah diri sendiri sebab tak pernah nak dekat kan diri dengan tuhan. Sibuk bertenggek tepi manusia. Mengharapkan manusia nak layan. Sedangkan tu belum terjamin. Padahal tahu je tuhan tu je yang tak pernah bosan dengan setiap luahan. Tunggu je tiap masa hamba Dia cari Dia. Tapi hamba dia yang jijik hina ni lupa. Tak sedar, hidup kat dunia ni menumpang.
Tahu. Hidup kat dunia ni kejap sangat. Alah. Persinggahan. Buat cari bekal nak pegi alam yang kekal. Tapi bukan nak cari benda yang betul. Orang sibuk cari pahala. Kita sibuk kumpul dosa. Sampai bila tah. Mengeluh fikir perangai sendiri. Bodoh sangat. Sayang manusia lebih lebih. Lepastu bila manusia pijak hati ludah kat muka kunyah jantung, baru sibuk nak meraung. Bodoh nya jadi manusia macam aku ni. Hubungan dengan manusia pun tak pernah nak jaga, inikan pulak hubungan dengan tuhan. Sekarang rasa teruk. Rasa geli dengan diri sendiri. Semoga rasa ni kekal. Biar sedar yang diri tu menapak dekat bumi tuhan. Takda hak nak angkuh bongkak sombong dan riak.
Itu hal tuhan. Sekarang bercakap tentang perasaan.
Sakit. Benci. Bukan pada sesiapa pun. Tapi dekat diri sendiri. Sebab selalu sangat sayang orang. Lepastu nak paksa orang ikut cara sendiri. Kawal hidup orang tu. Kawal hidup orang ni. Manja sangat. Bergantung dekat orang tu. Bergantung dekat orang ni. Padahal umur dah 21. Boleh sangat nak belajar hidup sendiri. Boleh juga berlatih. Yelah. Nanti nak hidup dalam gelap dekat kubur sorang sorang.
Setiap pertemuan pun mesti ada perpisahan. Tak kira lah apa yang memisahkan. Dah tahu. Tapi sibuk berharap tak akan ditinggalkan. Perasan. Bila dah ditinggalkan, meroyan. Seorang yang takk pernah mampu nak kawal perasaan. Jujurnya, aku sendiri jenis perempuan yang sangat tidak boleh nak mengawal perasaan. tapi andai ada yang mampu kawal kan, dengan sendirinya aku akan kawal juga. Tapi setakat ni, aku rasa tiada. Kalau ada pun, mungkin sudah hilang :)
Jadi itu saja. jujur. Susah nak bercakap soal perasaan. Susah nak diluahkan. Kadang kadang rasa nak lari. Nak diam. jauhkan diri dari semua orang. Dan kembali disaat semua dah melupakan. Supaya dapat mula buku baru, hidup baru.
Itu saja. Selamat malam. Assalamualaikum.
